The First Let Down

Yesterday when Addelyn and I got home from our day (mine at work, hers at the babysitter's house), I told her we could go on a walk. She got VERY excited and wanted to go immediately. I told her that we first had to go in and see her daddy. She finally agreed (when I carried her inside crying). She wanted to go for a walk and I had said we were going! She couldn't understand that it didn't mean RIGHT NOW at this exact minute.

We walked into the house and Mark brought up the idea of packing a picnic and going to the pool (it was already around 5:15 p.m.) It had been a weirdly cold summer day but finally was starting to warm up. We figured the pool would be dead so we got excited and quickly packed up and put our suits on. I told Addelyn that instead of going on a walk, that we would go to the pool. She got REALLY excited and ran to get her suit on. I think she forgot about the walk idea.

We drove to the pool, talking on the ride over about how much fun we'd have going on the slide. She kept giving us a huge grin and making her little excited squeal and breathy noises. As we pulled in at the pool, we saw an empty parking lot. Closed. SERIOUSLY??? So we turned the car around and decided to head to another local pool. At least there are more options (we thought). We got out and walked up to the pool gates only to find out they were closed for swim lessons. Strike two.

As we turned around and walked to our car from the pool gates, I said to Mark, "I made two promises to Addelyn today and then didn't keep either of them." As the three of us sulked on our way home (okay, so Addelyn didn't really sulk she just ate her snacks), I thought about the significance of what had just happened. She is only 1 1/2 and probably won't remember the fact that I told her I'd take her for a walk and then didn't. Or the fact that I said we'd go to the pool and then we didn't. However, that is life. There are going to be many times that Mark and I will want a certain outcome or option for our lives and for Addelyn's life and it won't go that way. It was a huge realization of the big picture for me. I want to be a mom who follows through on the promises that I have "control of" if that makes any sense. I don't want to be someone who tells her something and than never holds to my word. Most importantly though, I want to be a mom who can roll with the punches when life takes turns we don't necessarily expect or want. I want to be a mom that teaches my daughter to do the same (with a smile on her face!)

We got home and got out the garden hose. Addelyn ran up and down our sidewalk, screaming and laughing as Mark squirted her with water. That was better than the pool anyway!