Thursday, May 13, 2010

parenting books

Funny thing is, I never saw myself as a person who would read parenting books. Along with that statement comes a lot of explanations in which I will avoid today. Lately I have been intrigued to read some. Maybe it is because of the stage of toddlerhood that we are in? I'm not sure. I would say that this past year, I have realized a key component to parenting. No child is the same. No parent is the same. What works for someone else doesn't always work for us. At the same time, I'm not afraid to learn from others. I mostly learn from my other mom friends who are a little more seasoned at this full time job.

So back to the books. I have been reading a few lately that have been helpful and I've really liked. There are aspects that I can take and leave, however, I feel like I've had some good 'aha' moments with these. By the way, our laptop has been in the shop for the past few weeks. Amazing how this fact has been incredibly good for my book reading time.

The No Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
I loved the strategies for helping a toddler deal with tantrums, biting, hitting, and not listening or following directions. This book speaks a lot about the emotional development of a toddler and reminded me that many of the things Addelyn does (or doesn't do) is not because she is trying to 'misbehave.' It is often about how I am teaching her or responding to her that is creating the problem and tantrums. The second half of the book focuses more on the parents and their anger- it wasn't as helpful or interesting but I would suggest the book just for the first half! I feel like I came out with a few new practical strategies that I am using each day!

Stress-Free Potty Training by Sara Au and Peter L. Stavinoha
I think it is pretty funny that my daughter is not potty trained at this point, yet I suggest this book. The focus of this book is on the personality types of children- strong willed, goal-directed, sensory-oriented, internalizer, and impulsive. It suggests potty training tips based on your child's personality. It helped me to take a step back and realize my strong willed little girl needs some space. At 18-20 months, Addelyn wanted to poop and pee in the potty. For awhile she did just that. And then one day, she wanted NOTHING to do with it. At least at home. She often goes at the babysitter, of course! Addelyn completely knows when she is peeing and pooping. She will announce it. "I'm peeing right now." Or she will say, "I'm going to go poop on the porch" and then she goes out there and shuts the door. I will try to get her to go on the potty and it is a complete battle. The book suggests that for strong willed children- it really has to be a decision they make. It is not worth forcing her. So I am taking a deep breath. And this summer- we will work at it. I mean it. Seriously, I'm sure my kid won't go to school in diapers, right?

Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel
I'm almost done with this one- still a few chapters to go. It was suggested to me by my friend Hannah, who lives states away and is an incredible mom of two girls. I like the focus on being parents that aren't too permissive but aren't too rigid with rules. He writes about being parents who build security, significance, and strength in their children and having homes filled with grace. Some good stuff.

Okay, now it's your turn. Any good parenting books to share?


Becky Bartlett said...

I've heard good things about the Grace-based book. I'll have to add that one to the pile of parenting books sitting by my bed that I haven't found the time to open yet!! Grrrrr.... I really do want to read them!! :) Maybe this summer? Maybe you'll inspire me.

heidi said...

My hands down favorite: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee.

The Burgetts said...

I'm so glad you enjoyed Grace Based Parenting! I have another recommendation, it's a long the lines of the ideas in GBP but more practical. Some of the names for things are a little funny (The Seven Powers of Self Control and the Seven Powers of Discpline...) but I am getting SO much (I can't say how much!!!) out of it. It's called "Easy to Love Difficult to Discipline" by Becky Bailey Ph.D. It's all about practical ideas and solutions in discplining yourself as a parent so your children can be discplined. It's challenging but enlightening and I am enjoying it so much (only half way through but have had several people tell me I "had to read it!"). You can read a breif overview of the book here:

I'd really like to read the No-Cry Discpline Solution, I think that's next on my list. I really enjoyed her No-Cry Sleep Solution ideas and found several very helpful when Riley was a baby and Amity a newborn. It's so true that every parent and every child is different, I am struck by this more and more and it's making me want to read more and more so I have as many tools in my "tool box" as possible!

Filing that potty training book away for Amity. Riley was so ready and quick and "easy" to train...I have a feeling Amity won't be.

Jenni said...

Thanks for sharing this... these books look good, something I should look into reading! :)