bye bye binky

I'm tempted to not actually write about this because I have always had a "binky" opinion. Before becoming a parent, when I saw toddlers/children with pacifiers in their mouths- I would say things like, "My kid will never be walking and talking and still using a pacifier...."

Ahhh the things we say before we become a parent. Addelyn likes her binky for naptime and bedtime and in the car. Those are the only places we give it to her unless there are unique circumstances, like she is sick. She is almost two and a half years old. She was one of those babies who really took to a binky to help her sleep well and it has still been one of those parts of her sleep routine.

When she came close to her one year birthday, I remember our doctor encouraging us to think about getting rid of the pacifier. I agreed with her and kept planning to do so. I would say, "Next weekend we are going to get rid of it for good." And then something would come up and I would move back the "saying goodbye to binky date."

I still am working through my binky issues. At certain times, I feel the need to explain why Addelyn uses her binky and I almost apologize for it. At the same time, I have realized that I'm a different mom than I thought I would be. I planned to follow every "rule" about raising a child that I read in a book and was told by the experts. I've chilled out a bit (in some ways ha ha).

I don't believe my daughter is going to still have a desire to use her binky at age 15. I understand the whole language development argument. But Addelyn doesn't have her binky during the day and she has many words to share with us. :) So what is it with the binky issue?

This weekend we have a Hoskinson family get together. We told Addelyn that we are taking all of our binkies with us. We told her that when leave DSM to come home on Sunday, that Nonnie and Papa Hoskinson are taking her binkies home with them to Perry to give to babies that need them. She keeps repeating this idea over and over to us and seems excited. Does she really know what is coming? I'm not sure.

"I give binkies to Papa and Nonnie. They give to babies in need in Perry."

Why NOW you ask? Why finally make this binky "jump?" Why not a year ago? Why not wait a few weeks, a few months longer? I think it is a mixture of a few things. Our daughter is using her binky at night as a game. She will throw it. She will cry for it until we get it for her. If we don't get it for her, she will cry for awhile. A long while. She is a stubborn, persistent little girl (qualities that will be SO GOOD later in life, right!?!) So instead of playing the game, it is time to be done for good. I have kept putting it off because Mark and I value our nights of sleep so much. The thought of a terrible night or week of sleep is hard for me to handle. We often have weighed it out in the past and sleep always trumps.

Mark's cousin Andrea has twin toddlers. I saw on her facebook this week that she said goodbye to 'fiers and that all was going well. Maybe it was that glimpse of comraderie and knowing that someone else was taking the leap too and that they were surviving. A part of me cannot wait to be done with the binky and at the same time, a part of me is saddened a bit because the last little bit of "baby" left is saying goodbye this weekend. I have come to realize that maybe it is harder for me to let go of the binky than it is for my little girl.